Posts Tagged ‘menopause’
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Millionaire musings.
Tomorrow I turn 56. Today my family travelled two hours (one way) to come celebrate with my husband and I. Even my son was able to join in despite the fact that he is smack dab in the middle of exams at university. The weather was great and we enjoyed a nice hike through town on our way back home from the restaurant. We had Thai food. I got to pick where we were going to eat.
You know I just have to say that I am one lucky girl. So many people took the time out of their day to make mine special and I am grateful for that. I am also not without the knowing that what I put out I receive in turn.
My life ( like so many others) has been full of hurdles. There have been times when my behaviour has been less than stellar (ok bitchy is a good word here) and yet people have stuck around. There have also been times when the lives of those I love have been difficult and I have done my best to try and be my best for them. I have tried. Sometimes I failed but not always.
If I could share one thing with you on the eve of my birthday: if I could give you one gift that would make your life so much better: it would be this: love You first.
Love yourself to the deepest recesses of your soul. Love yourself with all the respect and courage and truth that you can muster up and then love yourself deeper than that for it is in this love that you will learn how to love others.
You are amazing. You are fantabulous. You are a marvel and you are remarkable: believe it and accept it.
This is my gift to you on the eve of my 56th birthday. There is no amount of money that can purchase this gift and yet
it is priceless.
Oh and just for the record this is non-refundable.
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Tipping points
I went to yoga class yesterday. I am a new student to this ancient practice and so I accept, with grace and humility,
that my body cannot yet do what some of the students in class are capable of.
This is one of the many blessings of learning to love me: I accept that I make mistakes, I fail, and fall,
forward (sometimes in the same moment.)
If you saw me at yoga you would know what I mean.
The teachers are kind and patient and always tell us to do what we feel our bodies are capable of, no less and no more.
We were working on a few balance practices yesterday.
I am bad at balance, always have been.
I started wearing glasses before I was two and I know the balance issues are somehow related to that.
I have always told myself there are some things I cannot do because I have balance issues, skiing for example is out, as
is walking on a tightrope and flipping on a trampoline.
So when the instructor gave us a balance pose to practice, first with our eyes open and then with
our eyes closed, my mind went immediately to “ Oh I can’t do that, I have balance issues” even before I tried my
mind had made it up that I would not succeed.
The teacher went on to explain why it was important to persist.
She explained that, if you close your eyes, the brain is forced to fire up new neurons to make this happen.
This was especially important to know for the “more mature women” in the class because it would prevent falls.
Apparently just practicing a minute a day will begin to improve the balance.
Wow! I can do that. I can spend a minute a day rewiring my brain.
Here is my take away from that class. The paradox between spending just a few minutes a day practising
my balance to improve my future health is akin to taking a few moments each day to practice personal
balance to improve my mental health.
Both are related to the other, both are essential.
So, now that I am close to done here, I am going to pour myself a cup of hot tea
and turn my brain off. Who knows, I might even spend a minute or two standing on one foot with my eyes closed.
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Saying No to Yes
So most of you probably know of Oprah Winfrey. You probably know of her shows and her new network too. I recently had the chance to go to Harpo studios to preview Miss Representation (www.missrepresentation.org) at the Rosie show. I was invited to the screening by writing an essay about the effects of social media on our girls and boys. It’s an issue I am very passionate about. Going to see Rosie was awesome and I love love love Chicago.
Oprah has been taking her show on the road for a few weeks with the likes of Tony Robbins and Deepak Chopra throughout the United States.
We finally got our chance to see her when ticket sales were announced today to an event in Toronto on April 16.
One of my fabulous clients Shelley sent me a note and asked if I was going and did I want to go with her? Oh yeah baby.
With no time to waste I got on the phone (in between working calls) got out the handy dandy credit card (a brand new one had just arrived in the mail) and got set to wait online to place my order. Bonus #1. I did not have to wait on the phone at all. The service was fast and efficient.
Which section did I want? Um not doing my homework (who had time?) I just ordered them from the closest e’section to the divine Ms. O and her other fabulous guests. Here’s why I did this.
I really don’t know if this will ever happen again. I really love my job and I am always telling people to take the leap: walking the talk here I leapt toward 4 tickets plus Shelley’s. After I got off the phone (yay I got all 5 ) I was able to read some of the stories that were running around online about the event.
“Dear Oprah. I would love to see you but I can’t afford to go. “ “Dear Oprah: I really want to go to see you but my husband won’t let me” ” Dear Oprah: I think you are asking too much money to go to see you. Can I have free tickets?” All legit reasons not to go and of course there are so many people who truly cannot afford to attend an event like this but this is not the case for everybody.
Some could go but they wait: they hesitate: they ponder and the become indecisive. What they’re doing is saying “no” to “yes.” in their life. Saying no means they let fear take over and here’s what happened today if you were one of the folks who decided to wait: sadly: you did not get tickets.
Imagine that..if it is on your wish list to see Oprah and you didn’t go because _______________ (fill in the blank).
I’ve said no to me for a long time. As a child who was abused I learned not to ask for things for myself. I did without a lot of things because I didn’t believe I deserved them. The blessing of my coaches over the years has been that I am now very comfortable saying yes when I really want to say yet. No strings. no problems…just a yes and then a whole lot of anticipation as the date rolls closer.
I’ll keep you updated on a big surprise announcement coming up soon..
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Is it time for an intervention with your business?
I am a sole proprietor of a small business, essentially a one woman show, for all intents and purposes. Does that mean I do everything by myself? Not on your life. My better half is quick to ensure our dogs get out for the daily runs if he sees that my day is full of client calls. My friends help me out with errands or dog sitting or even just meeting up for coffee to make sure I get the hell out of the house and see the sky.
Working on your own is exhilarating and fun and lonely and frustrating and so much more than all of that.
I know that many women who are small business owners struggle with “work, life, balance” issues. They are of the belief that they can’t take time out for themselves, they find it hard to give themselves permission to step away from the work, just in case something happens.
Have you ever watched a gambling addict at a casino? You know the one: they can’t step away from the machine even for a second because they know the next big win is just waiting for them.
One time I visited a new casino in Florida because we had coupons to eat there. As I walked past the line of telephones a woman collapsed on the floor, bam, right in front of me. She didn’t even have time to hang up the phone. I learned later that she had been inside at the casino for more than 24 hours straight! I don’t think I have ever done anything for 24 hours, except breathe. She was pasty and exhausted and dehydrated and apparently used Depends so she didn’t even have to leave to go to the washroom! Yikes!
I see lots of people who seem to be addicted to their businesses. They cannot leave, they cannot take any time off even when they are not well. They give me lots of good reasons for their behavior but, truth, the bottom line is that this is a choice. We all have choice in our lives about who we want to be and how we want to be.
Since I am not perfect, I know that probably shocks some of you, I do over extend myself some days. I may try to accommodate a client by changing an appointment for them when I already have several calls that day. I am learning though because I know this for sure: if I do not take care of me then my clients are not cared for properly, my family is not cared for and my two lovely dogs are not properly cared for.
Some days it’s hard to let the phone ring and take me time but I am taking my lesson from the woman at the casino ” you have to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em” and if you don’t, at some point you’re probably going to fall flat on your face, bam, just like that.
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Did you know I got held up?
I was on a radio show today sharing the message about my movement Helping Millions Make Millions. Thanks to Bev Mahone of the Boomer Beat radio show for letting that happen. You can listen to the full broadcast right here!
You know that song These Eyes, by the Guess Who? I love that song…it was really popular when I was in my teens and it still is a favourite amongst several generations. The words of the song came to mind today when I was thinking about writing this story. As you sing along consider changing the words to These Arms…
When I was thinking about what I wanted to say this message came to my mind: women use money differently than men, we support our causes, our communities, our kids. Women do not, generally speaking, see war as the answer to complex issues. We are pacifists when it comes time for resolution.
Well here’s something to consider. Women make up 53% of the population and earn 1% of the wealth! We are the 99%! Doesn’t that make you mad? It infuriates me and partly because we seem to have accepted that as a way of life and choose not to change our circumstance..
I have a solution..we should have an arms race. Men do it all the time, governments are always saying it’s a good idea…look how much power arms races instill. The next superpower is usually determined by the country with the most arms, right?
However, since I ascribe to the pacifist solution, my take on the arms race is very “out of the box.” I say women should join together in unity and raise each other up. Offer a hand up not a hand out. Take a look at this amazing Ted Talk about women and biz in war torn countries. It speaks volumes about the power of women in my humble opinion.
Look at your arms and marvel at their strength, Honour that they have soothed and saved and loved all your life.
These arms, your arms, hugged children when they needed soothing, these arms reached out to touch the hand of a lost soul and bring them back, these arms hugged a human in their most excruciating time of need, these arms comforted and cared for and caressed people you loved. These arms, your arms, scratched the ears of your favourite puppy, stroked the belly of a furry kitten, combed the fine soft hair of a baby child, pushed the hair out of the eyes of your mother as she rested and your son as he recovered from the flu. These arms will hold you up, lift you up, push you up and, with a circle of women in your life, the world will be changed.
I got held up and you know what, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Are you ready to join in the arms race? Ae you ready to start turning your passion into profit and offer a hand up to other women?
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Martin Luther King Jr did not write this.
We who are in our fifties, the movement begins
I hope you take the time to watch this video, it is my personal plea to all of us..
Today is the birthdate of Martin Luther King Jr. If ever there was a person that believes in his dream, “I have a dream” it was he.
If ever there was a man who could not, would not,take any other path toward equality it was him.
Today I am inspired to continue with my dream of teaching a million women how to make a million dollars by turning their passion into profit. No over night gimmicks, no make money fast shtick. This is a program that will challenge your beliefs, turn you upside down and inside out and give you the opportunity, finally,to live a truthful life.
Today, as I remember the great and never failing Martin Luther King Jr, I give thanks for his tenacity, his persistence, his commitment to his bigger picture and I am pressed to move on despite all the naysayers and non believers.
I too have adream…I wish for all women to be empowered, to be equal, to be included in the financial conversations around the world. Money is power, no doubt, let’s take it back…
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Learning how to be an extraordinary woman
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2012..catastrophe? What catastrophe…sh*t my titles use
I hear it all the time, standing in line ups, waiting to pay for food, collecting my money from the bank…” wow money sure is tight right now. I sure would love to win the lottery” i listen and ask what they would do if they won…”don’t know but i would quit my job right away.” as i make my way out of the building Ioften see those same complainers happily handing over ten or twenty bucks to the cashier at the lottery booth…
So here’s what I make of conversations like that.
1. They hate their job
2. They’re trading their valuable time for something they hate
3. They don’t have a clue about their goals…if you ask me how i would spend lottery winnings I can tell you right away..
4. They don’t want to, or don’t know how, to change this situation…
So here are a few ways to make change happen.
1. First, you have to want something different
2. Second, you have to be willing to try.
3. Get out of victim mode and take responsibility for yourself.
4. Hire a life coach…work together for a few months
5. Join in a group coaching program on the phone if money feels a little tight
6. Listen to our radio programs to be inspired to create change
7. Become an angel investor to someone who wants coaching
8. Donate money to www .kiva.org to support small biz start ups.
9. Share your story, wrote, speak, yell from the rooftops if you have to
10. Come to a live coaching event, be inspired, be m
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Throw out the cranberry sauce? Are you crazy it’s Christmas!
Seriously can you imagine if somebody decided that this Christmas there would
not be cranberry sauce with the turkey? Even if it’s the canned stuff that’s
more like jelly than cranberries it’s the tradition that is important right? If
you’re like my family you have always had turkey with cranberry sauce at
Christmas and probably Thanksgiving too. It’s just what we do: I’ve never really
thought about it when I started to prepare my own festive meals until one of my
children balked at the idea of cranberries and turkey. Well mostly they balked
at the thought of eating turkey but the cranberries didn’t thrill them
either.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: “What do you mean you don’t want cranberries with the turkey? Wait you
don’t want turkey either?”Child: “Mom you know I’m vegetarian I don’t eat turkey and the cranberries
are not organic and they’re full of sugar. I’m not putting that into my
body.”Me: “But we’ve always had cranberries. My mom served it to us: all of our
relatives serve cranberries with turkey.”Child: “I know mom but I don’t want any..no offence but it’s not my tradition
it’s your’s.”Me: “But what’s mine is your’s….it’s always been that way…” voice
trailing off as I begin to question the whole concept of doing something “just
because.”Child: “Mom I’m not having any. You can serve it if you want but I’m not
having any..”Me: ” Ok…ok I get it you don’t want it…”
End of conversation but most certainly not the end of the thought process for
me. What did it mean to have traditions and why do we follow them? Is it simply
something we do because that’s the way it’s always been done?That thought led to think about money and traditions and here’s what I’ve
come up with .In my family the tradition was that money was hard to come by: money was
finite: money was something to be taken very seriously: money meant control and
a lack of money meant no control: money was to be saved for a rainy day…money
was a struggle that would never get easier.You know what? I’m with my kids on this one: I’m throwing out the cranberry
sauce and the money traditions this year! I’m done with struggle and fear and
scraping by and making do….What about you? Do you have any money traditions
that you’re holding onto just because that’s the way it’s always been?Speaking of traditions enjoy this piece from Time…
Now go be fearless.
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Never never never say never.
There are days when even I decide that I’ve had enough..ok well maybe not days but certainly minutes. I wonder if people like Oprah or Martin Luther King Jr. or Arlene Dickinson or Rick Hansen ever felt like throwing in the towel?
Don’t get me wrong here: I’m not projecting negative energy I hope what I am trying to do is step into the truth of never giving up on your dreams. In this case it’s my dream: my dream to teach a million women to uncover their passion: turn it into a profit and earn a million dollars doing what they love. This is not an overnight project for me or for any of the women involved. It’s not an easy to do project either: this takes hard work and commitment and these women are prepared to do both. They’ve drawn the line in the sand and they’re going for it…I admire their courage…
Helping Millions Make Millions is the movement and sometimes when I share that with folks: well they look at me kinda strange like perhaps I’ve just escaped from the hospital or I forgot to take my medication that day or I’m just plain delusional. Those folks probably gave up on their dreams a long time ago and I’m not going to let them be dream vampires to me..
I have a picture on my vision board that looks like a crowd of a million people: it’s from Martin Luther King Jr’s speech at Washington in which he is quoted ” I have a dream….” his famous speech and eventually it came true: this dream of dreams. That photo is my inspiration for my own dream of teaching a million women how to become empowered financially….”I have a dream” ” I have a movement” I continue to be inspired by the women who are already on this amazing journey: from teacher to dog walker/ from logistic transportation to dog groomer/ from stay at home mom to wellness masseuse/ from stay at home mom to teacher…They are my inspiration: thank you my friends for believing in your own dreams: for drawing the line in the sand and going for it no matter what. You keep me humble and grateful.
