Posts Tagged ‘transformation’
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Is it cracked and broken or is it perfect?
I took a walk to the beach a few days ago with the puppies. No dogs are allowed on the beach so I usually go to the bench close to the water so that I can hear and see the water. I often meet a new friend or two while I’m sitting there because people like to stop and say hi to the dogs. This day a grandma and her little grand daughter happened to stop and chat for a while. We had a lot in common: she had a little elephant and you know how I love elephants, her name was Kiera, the name of one of my pups, and she loved the water. Kiera was collecting sea shells, a fine activity at any age and I was enjoying her conversation with her grandma about which ones to keep and which to leave behind. Kiera had picked one up that was a little broken, some of the pieces were missing and it was definitely not in perfect shape. Grandma suggested she leave it behind because it wasn’t “pretty.” This lovely little girl looked at her grandma with the biggest eyes, a little teary, and said “no grandma this one IS perfect, I want to keep it.” No amount of persusaion would change her mind and eventually she left with just that one broken sea shell: it was her most prized posession.You know what I wondered as I watched and listened? When did you learn that perfect is the only thing that’s good enough? When did we accept this as the truth? What was it that caused us to give up the fight for our own truth and say “ok I accept that I must be wrong and perfect is the only thing worth striving for?” What allowed that to happen and why did that happen?
I’m turning 55 in a few weeks and there are many people who would agree, starting with me, that I’m not perfect. My husband would tell you that I snore, it’s true I do, and that I can be challenging to converse with at times, he’s right I am. My sisters would tell you that I might be a little challenging to be around at times, they’re right I am. My friends might tell you that I’m not really athletic: they’re right I’m not…and I don’t care, truly and really, because here’s what they’ll also tell you. I’m kind, I’m compassionate, I’m generous, I’m a good person, I speak my truth, I wish kindness to all people….So, I’m not perfect but I truly believe I am a goddess in my own right! Yup I really do and I’m so happy I can say that: I’m so grateful to all who have come before me, who have taught me, who continue to teach me…I’m not bragging, I’m not boasting, I am accepting my position, and it’s your’s for the taking as well, in this glorious world and living up to it. I’m that broken sea shell, beautiful to one whose eyes still see beauty in things that are not perfect. You too are that broken sea shell, a little rough around the edges from the things life has thrown at you, a little wiser, a little smoother perhaps from all the years you’ve put in….Do you accept that to be true or do you accept that,unless I’m perfect, I’m just not good enough?
What will it take for us to accept that we are perfectly perfect in all our mess, in all our cracks and flaws just like that sea shell Kiera took home with her that day?
Living la vida fearless, Jan
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Change: I can’t, I won’t, nobody can, anybody can..
A direct quote from A Woman’s Worth by Marianne Williamson, page 121, the Castle Walls…”Here’s a magical secret we all need to know. People change. No one is stuck who chooses not to be. No one is without infinite potential for a radical turnaround from all this is unconscious and fearful and wak to all this is conscious and loving and strong. never think you know someone inside and out, because unless your knowingness includes all the possibilities for magnificence that lie latent within that person, you know relatively little..”A magical secret! We do need to know this and then, once we know this, it would behoove us to let it soak into our skin, into our pores, breathe it in deeply and then hold it within us, soaking every cell into a place of possibility. I meet so many people who say that they can’t change, they are too old, their partner/friend/lover/parent/sibling/employer/mate (whatever) would not approve. Know what I say to that? So what? Who cares? What gave them the right to put their needs before yours? What gave you the right to think you are less important than they? Seriously, think about that for a minute: what makes your needs/wants/desires less important than somebody else’s?
If you want something with all your heart, if you want something so deeply you will regret not having fulfilled this dream before you die, if you want something that calls to your soul and you don’t go after it because you believe you can’t change: think again. I challenge you to take one step, a baby step, toward that shift and then another and then another until those baby steps have turned into the journey of a lifetime!
As Gandhi is so oft quoted as saying “Be the change you wish to see in the world”
Living la vida fearless, Jan
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My mentor coach says make your mess your message
I talked to a lovely woman a few days ago and when we parted ways I wondered about something. Sometimes when I share my story I think people think I’m crazy. Seriously. Most of the time I use both my ears, my heart, my compassion to listen to others and once in a while I’ll use my truth and speak. This was one of those days so, when she asked me why I knew so much about women’s abuse issues which was part of the conversation, I told her…The mess: I am an abuse thriver, started when I was 7, the impact remained with me until my forties..the mess: I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease when I was forty and had to give up my successful relocation company…the mess, six years later I was told the specialist had made an error in diagnosis and I had never had PD: the mess: I’m 46 and wondering what the hell to do with my life now….the mess: one of my best friends is murdered by her husband just a few hours after, what would be, our last visit together, the mess: I invested in a woman who was running an empowering program for abuse survivors/ she took the money and ran! When I was relating just a little bit of this to her even I took a step back and thought “wow, this is crazy, how can anybody be exposed to so much and still move forward?” Well that’s the message isn’t it…Keep moving forward no matter what, the choice is always there to stop and give up or to keep moving on..sometimes I couldn’t even get myself out of bed but I did get anyway. Sometimes I cried so much I thought I’d never cry again, I was wrong. Sometimes I didn’t want to speak to another person, to listen to yet another story of tragedy, but I did anyway. Here’s what I learned: the heart is a compassionate friend, the heart, my heart, loves me very much and I feel the same way, my life is a gift and I’d bloody well better share that out with everybody who is willing to join in. I didn’t go through all of this just to sit back and ponder….nope I believe I went through all of this so that you, yup you, could fine the courage to move just one little toe toward that first step until eventually you’ve started traveling your own path of passion and truth. So, I’m not crazy that I know, but I sure do prefer to listen to your stories than mine! Living la vida fearless, Jan
